Week 11 Blog Reviews

Ashley
How Much Would You Pay for My Name On Your Chest: This was such a good blog!!! It was very interesting and had so much of your own thoughts and ideas. I think so far I vote that you use this as your unit essay! I'm sure you could find lots of outside information and more of your own ideas to extend it!
African Americans: The Immigrant Leaders: This blog was very well written too. The reader is definitely able to understand your message through out the paper and you back up your points very well. In your last paragraph you say "the Mexicans" multiple times and it sounds a little aggressive and like you are grouping them all together as nuisances. I might just change it to "Mexicans."

Whitney
I Want It All: First off, good title! Second, awesome first paragraph! Using the seven deadly sins was such a clever idea to incorporate! And I love how you use it through out your blog and not just in the first paragraph to draw readers in. I really like the direction you chose for your essay. I also thought materialism had good things about it. I agree that it is a common attribute among all peeople from all over.
The Melting Pot: You are such a good writer and even though I read Maggs' essay and attempted to write about issues relating to it, you bring such a fresh perspective/angle. I liked how you said that immigrants that were once thought to be problematic are now seen as wonderful additions to society. Good point!! The only grammar thing I noticed was you need a comma between differences and America: "If America had never given them a chance to make such differences America's history would be dramatically different."

Krista
In a Materialistic World: you have some really great ideas in this post. I like how you discuss the meaning behind the items. I agree that if consumers can learn to control themselves, materialism isn't such a bad thing. In your first paragraph you ask "If we are the hands at such creation, can it really be all bad?" When you word it that way, I want to answer with a resounding "YES" because obviously we are human, we are very fallible. I know what you mean but maybe if you changed the wording it would work better to prove your point.
Moving Forward: I liked the premise of your blog! That African Americans have made strides in history but many still remain in poverty. Your paragraph about their improvment in employment and education is well written and has good support. The only thing was that you kept switching between how they haven't progressed and how they have progressed so maybe if you could focus on one paragraph of progress and one of non progress that could make it flow better!