Jade's Greatest Hits!

Your blogs are all very well written with no or few grammar errors! You bring up some great points and always have support to back up your views! There were a few citation issues in your blogs but you seemed to correct it in the laster posts! You're a great writer and I hope my feedback helps you pick a finaly essay topic! These were my favorites of your blogs! :)

Till "Divorce" Do Us Part
Such a clever title! Your title draws the reader in and clues us in to what you are about to discuss very effectively! This blog was very interesting and not just a regurgitation of the article! You had some great ideas in here, for example "Yes, infidelity is natural, but I believe that if you truly love someone, you can stop yourself from doing the dirty deed." Not only is this funny and keeps the reader entertained but it also provides an interesting idea to ponder. What are the natural chemical things that bring about infidelity? Maybe you could talk about this more if you used this as your paper! Also, what are the things about love that would make someone NOT cheat? Just some ideas that could help you expand!

Ahh, The Irony
This blog was very interesting! You seem to know a lot about music and your opinion is very present! I think with some outsides sources this could make a great paper about the music industry and how it uses sexuality to make money! Afterall, sex sells! You have really good examples that everyone would know about and these really help prove your point. Your last paragraph is so true and that is definitely ironic! I'm sure you could find outsides sources to back up your great idea!

A Material World
Your view is very evident right from the get go and I like that! I like how you took the side of materialism, proving that it is actuall a good thing for society. Your discussion of how life would be boring with out materials is very intriguing and perhaps you could delve into that further if you used this as your essay! Bringing up the bad side of materialism really works for this paper because you use it explain how materials bring happiness to holidays that may otherwise be boring with out them. If you were to use this for your final paper I know you could find some outsides sources to back this up and make your paper stronger!

Lauren's Greatest Hits!

You have some great ideas in your blogs and it would be great to exand even more on your own thoughts! Your posts were all great but these were my favorites! I hope they help in picking a final essay! I'm sure it'll be great!

A World Without His Foundation
First of all, I really like your title! Such a good one and it sets the reader up for what is presumably your topic! I thought you must have strong feelings about this topic after reading this blog. Your voice is very present and helps the reader see your point very clearly. With out the title I wouldn't have been sure of your thesis. From your first paragraph I wasn't sure whether you thought religion was important in determing a person's morals or not. Your second paragraph you go on to explain your view but if you did use this as your paper I would make it clear that you think religion is the most important factor in determing morals. In your last paragraph, you throw in that you think a person can still be good with out God, so that kind of throws the reader off since we thought you were trying to prove that goodness comes from religion. You can definitely go with both and pull of an awesome paper if you make it how religion can effect a person's goodness rather than how it determines it!

The Chemistry of Relationships
I enjoyed reading this blog a lot! I liked that you used an outside source to add more authority to the idea of chemistry. Though I was a little unsure as to what your stance was on the idea of chemistry determining true love from your intro paragraph. Then I got to your final paragraph where you said that you think there is more to choosing a mate then just chemicals. This is a great stance! If you were to expand on this for your final essay I would definitely make your thesis clear in the first paragraph. I would also research and add your own ideas about what exactly "it" is that also determines true love besides chemistry. I'm sure there is lots out there that could support your own ideas!

A "Mallcondo" Culture
This blog was really interesting, not only because I find the topic interesting but because you did a great job describing it! I loved the examples you used such as "
Or have you ever seen a girl fresh out of a bad break up go out and essentially get a whole new makeover to make herself feel better or give herself a sense of a new beginning." It's so true! You descriptions and examples help the reader understand where materialism comes from as well as relate to it with out feeling like a bad person for thinking materialism can be good. You do a good job of explaining both the good and bad sides of materialism. Perhaps if you were to use this as your final essay you could either choose one side or further expand on each side! I think you make good points about both so expanding on both would be an interesting read!

Week 12 Blog Reviews

Ashley: Government: This blog was really good! I felt like you stated your opinion well and used evidence to back it up very effectively. Your very first sentence had a slight grammar issue and I think it could be fixed by saying "The creation of the United States..." very well written otherwise!
The World of Money: Finance is such a boring subject but you did a good job working with this essay! You summarized well and added you own ideas about areas have been affected by changes in finance. In your last paragraph there is one grammar mistake "...other types of financial transactions has increased..." It should be 'have' instead of 'has.' But other than that it looks good :)

Whitney: In A Perfect World: Great job with this post!! You explained libertarianism so well and also the views of those opposed to it. I liked how you explained the text and then added so much of your opinion. I realy liked your last paragraph and wish for a perfect world like you describe! I agree that until then government is probably necessary!
The Fascination With Finance: Your opening paragraph definitely gets the reader interested in what you are about to discuss. I like how you say finance combines our money obsession with risk. You explain finance well while keep it interesting.

Krista: The way you started this blog was very intriguing! It pulled me in. Discussing the Patriot Act was such a good idea. There were a couple grammar issues here and there but your ideas were great and you explained them well! We had very similar ideas about there needing to be a meeting point in the middle. I'm all for government with more of a lean to the left :)

Freedom of folly?

Would humans be alright if we did not have government control like we do today? According to Sameer Parekh in Josh McHugh's essay "Politics For The Really Cool" we would be better off. He thinks the power should be in the people's hands. "There would still be a government, but it would not be the expensive welfare state we have today" (McHugh 436). Could humans actually pull it off peacefully though?

Man-kind has always tried to establish rules, boundaries, laws, some sort of order at least. We thrive on it. Some people are followers and some people are leaders. So it makes sense that we have established a government that is supposed to help us help ourselves. This sounds great right? But sometimes the government can become too involved and focuses more on the agenda of those in office then those that put them in office. This is where politics go bad...

I tend to be in the middle of the spectrum of anarchy and complete government control. Everything in moderation, as they say. Too much government control leads to unhappiness, oppression, and usually revolt. Anarchy would be utter chaos since humans truly do desire structure and stability. Parekh's ideal is "...strong on law and order, sanctity of contract and minimal social security..." (McHugh 436). This does not actually sound too bad. I think a lot of things in life have become much more complicated than they need to be and simplifying the structure of government could make things easier for everyone.

Week 11 Blog Reviews

Ashley
How Much Would You Pay for My Name On Your Chest: This was such a good blog!!! It was very interesting and had so much of your own thoughts and ideas. I think so far I vote that you use this as your unit essay! I'm sure you could find lots of outside information and more of your own ideas to extend it!
African Americans: The Immigrant Leaders: This blog was very well written too. The reader is definitely able to understand your message through out the paper and you back up your points very well. In your last paragraph you say "the Mexicans" multiple times and it sounds a little aggressive and like you are grouping them all together as nuisances. I might just change it to "Mexicans."

Whitney
I Want It All: First off, good title! Second, awesome first paragraph! Using the seven deadly sins was such a clever idea to incorporate! And I love how you use it through out your blog and not just in the first paragraph to draw readers in. I really like the direction you chose for your essay. I also thought materialism had good things about it. I agree that it is a common attribute among all peeople from all over.
The Melting Pot: You are such a good writer and even though I read Maggs' essay and attempted to write about issues relating to it, you bring such a fresh perspective/angle. I liked how you said that immigrants that were once thought to be problematic are now seen as wonderful additions to society. Good point!! The only grammar thing I noticed was you need a comma between differences and America: "If America had never given them a chance to make such differences America's history would be dramatically different."

Krista
In a Materialistic World: you have some really great ideas in this post. I like how you discuss the meaning behind the items. I agree that if consumers can learn to control themselves, materialism isn't such a bad thing. In your first paragraph you ask "If we are the hands at such creation, can it really be all bad?" When you word it that way, I want to answer with a resounding "YES" because obviously we are human, we are very fallible. I know what you mean but maybe if you changed the wording it would work better to prove your point.
Moving Forward: I liked the premise of your blog! That African Americans have made strides in history but many still remain in poverty. Your paragraph about their improvment in employment and education is well written and has good support. The only thing was that you kept switching between how they haven't progressed and how they have progressed so maybe if you could focus on one paragraph of progress and one of non progress that could make it flow better!

Immigration and the Economy weed out the selfish people

To draw on a cliche the United States is a melting pot of ethnicities. My ancestors all come from different backgrounds. I am everything from English to Native American. Practically every ethnicity that I am, has faced persecution in some way, at some point in their lives. To focus on one, Irish immigrants during the 19th century faced particularly harsh persecution. They came to America, like so many others before and after them, to get away from poverty, starvation, and scary political/religious situations. Coming to America was a dream for them. But many Americans resented them, like they do Hispanics today. "Some Americans view immigrants as cheap and conscientious workers in a tight labor market- one in which arduous or distasteful jobs are especially hard to fill. Others see immigrants taking away jobs from American-born workers, depressing wages, and becoming a burden for federal and local governments" (Maggs 424).

When the Irish came to America, they did not face as much racism and prejudice as Hispanics or African Americans but they did deal with a fair amount. Being white made their immigration easier since they blended in more, but their different beliefs and views made them stand out. Since many Irish people are Catholic, they had to deal with prejudice against their religion. Nativists, who believed in "favoring of the interests of long-standing inhabitants of an area over those of newcomers" (u-shistory.com) were afraid that the Irish immigrants would be more loyal to the church than to the United States (Kenny). Just like so many other religious prejudices, the Irish's belief in Catholicism was targeted.

The Irish were also targeted because of their impact on the economy. People thought that they were taking all of the lower, working class jobs. Since they were willing to work for lower wages this was often true. This also caused wages to be lowered since the Irish were willing to work for so cheap. Why should businesses hire people expecting more when they could get such cheap labor? "Many Americans also feared that the Irish would never advance socially but would instead become the first permanent working class in the United States, threatening the central principle of 19th-century American life: upward social mobility through hard work" (Kenny). They feared the death of the American dream by people who came here just for the American dream.

It was not until 1960, when John F. Kennedy was elected as president, that anti-Irish feelings ended (Kenny). How sad that it took so long. But at least it shows that those feelings can be abolished. Perhaps someday Hispanics can be freely accepted and actually thanked for taking the awful, low-wage jobs, that no one really wants anyway. People are just selfish.

Clearly, there are many sides to immigration. People all deserve a happy life. Those who come to America have every right to better themselves in my opinion. But those who are already here sometimes feel that they are losing opportunities. Life is never fair or completely equal of course but it seems like we can make room for everyone and accomodate each other. The economy seems to always be at an extreme of either prosperity or devastation. Can immigrants really throw off the balance or are they just our excuse? The scapegoat for us, those who are most likely to blame.


Kenny, Kevin. "Irish Immigrants in the United States." America - Engaging the World - America.gov. 13 Feb. 2008. Web. 05 Nov. 2009. .

Nativist definition: http://www.u-s-history.com/pages/h1451.html#N

Material Girl In a Material World

Materialism is central to the American dream. The United States is the land of riches compared to so many other countries. Everything is so easily accessible and affordable to much more than just the upper classes. It is no wonder we have massive amounts of immigrants. Who wouldn't want to come to a place where it is possible to have things that will not only make your life easier and more comfortable, but to have things just because you want them? Is it wrong to have material items just because we want them? Maybe materialism actually is not a bad thing though, as Twitchell believes.

"Most Americans have spent their way to happiness" according to Stanley Lebergott (392). Money is supposedly not able to purchase happiness but it seems that it greatly contributes to the happiness of Americans. We purchase things that help us or that we enjoy. These things bring us happiness. But we also purchase things to show our status in society. This is sometimes the negative side of materialism. Materialism can definitely increase the gap in social ranking, which creates jealously, anger, and hate.

Materialism also plays a large role in defining who we are as individuals. "Without a BMW there can be no yuppie, without tattoos no adolescent rebel, without big hair no Southwestern glamor-puss, without volvos no academic intellectual, and well, you know the rest" (394). All of these things that define these people come from having purchased something. The cars, the tattoos, the big hair... We are what we consume. Perhaps it is sad that buying things is how we make ourselves "stand out" but I suppose it is the way of things. Who would ever think to just rely on our personalitys'?! Materials are how we represent our personalities.

Materials are also tied to memories and this brings another positive aspect to materialism. "...happy family members often described, for example, the times their family had spent on a favorite couch..." (395). The items we have purchased can help us to remember good times and the people we love. I know I tie many memories to materials. I have a stuffed animal that will always remind me of my grandma and my old bunk beds still make me think of playing on them with my cousins as a kid. But sometimes the memories are bad such as the perfume I associate with my ex-boyfriend, and the blanket that reminds me of the day my parents divorced.

There are so many aspects to materialism. It has good and bad qualities and it is almost impossible to choose one side. Yes, it can make us crazy consumers who are just selfish to out-do everyone in our purchases. But it can also make us happy and appreciate how lucky we are to be able to purchase all the things we can. Materialism definitely contributes to human happiness.

Week 10 Blog Reviews!

Ashley:

Intern Nightmare: This was so much fun to read! Very entertaining and definitely proving the point that corporate America is out for our money, not our safety! It's clear you are a good writer! You describe your high heel adventure so vividly that the reader can imagine this happening to themselves! There were a few spots where I got thrown off a little but I know what you meant so I still understood such as "In my second attempt away from my new desk the first step I took was clear, all safe, then the second, what do you know, tape did not hold this thing either? " The flow of the sentence was just not quite right, but that's easy to fix! Great job with this post!

Secret Control: You did a great job using the article to make your point! I may add some more of your own thoughts because that always makes it really interesting to read.

Whitney:

Hello again! :)

My Father's Fall: This post was so good but it made me so mad! I'm sorry about your Dad :( It just goes to show that corporate America really is evil. Your writing is so descriptive and has such a great flow to it. Your last sentence was spot on! I wish it wasn't true however! You really have no errors at all so keep up the great work!

Krista:

Nearly a dream: I really enjoyed reading this post! You were so descriptive it really made it interesting and fun to read. That is so scary though! Did your friends tell you how everything happened? That would be good to add to the story! Also, should the board have been stronger and then you wouldn't have had the accident? I can't wait to read more of your stuff, it's great so far!

Risky Business: You made some really great points in this post! You also effectively used information from the book to back it up by paraphrasing. You didn't cite anything though so just watch out for that :) I really liked how you discussed the underground music movement and how the unknown appeals to people more than just what the masses like. You have great ideas!