Ashley:
Intern Nightmare: This was so much fun to read! Very entertaining and definitely proving the point that corporate America is out for our money, not our safety! It's clear you are a good writer! You describe your high heel adventure so vividly that the reader can imagine this happening to themselves! There were a few spots where I got thrown off a little but I know what you meant so I still understood such as "In my second attempt away from my new desk the first step I took was clear, all safe, then the second, what do you know, tape did not hold this thing either? " The flow of the sentence was just not quite right, but that's easy to fix! Great job with this post!
Secret Control: You did a great job using the article to make your point! I may add some more of your own thoughts because that always makes it really interesting to read.
Whitney:
Hello again! :)
My Father's Fall: This post was so good but it made me so mad! I'm sorry about your Dad :( It just goes to show that corporate America really is evil. Your writing is so descriptive and has such a great flow to it. Your last sentence was spot on! I wish it wasn't true however! You really have no errors at all so keep up the great work!
Krista:
Nearly a dream: I really enjoyed reading this post! You were so descriptive it really made it interesting and fun to read. That is so scary though! Did your friends tell you how everything happened? That would be good to add to the story! Also, should the board have been stronger and then you wouldn't have had the accident? I can't wait to read more of your stuff, it's great so far!
Risky Business: You made some really great points in this post! You also effectively used information from the book to back it up by paraphrasing. You didn't cite anything though so just watch out for that :) I really liked how you discussed the underground music movement and how the unknown appeals to people more than just what the masses like. You have great ideas!
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