Machine dialogue

Homer (H): I think I could be that Deep Blue in a chess game...
Marge (M): Oh, reallly Homer? You have the skills of Kasparov?
H: Well, maybe not but at least I have feelings! Deep Blue wouldn't even be able to rejoice over defeating me!
M: I heard that computers may have consciousness just like humans now... Isn't that scary?
H: I don't believe that! Machines will never have my brains or my consciousness! I can grab a hot pan and know to drop it. One of the new advanced machines would know to drop the pan too if it was going to damage them. But I can feel the burn baby! It's a subjective experience for me.
M: But the machine recoils from the heat! That is consciousness!
H: No, that is programming. They were given a data packet with instructions for that.
M: But we are given instructions about touching hot pans. I taught the kids as babies not to touch the hot stove. So they are receiving data packets too.
H: But did the kids always listen? Of course not! So they learned from subjective experience that a hot stove equals DOH!
M: Oh you don't really believe that mystery of the mind stuff do you??? That McGinn guy who has the water into wine theory, total nut job! Of course the mind can be figure out! We are learning the mysteries of the mind every day!
H: Do you know how data becomes part of consciousness? Like how your brain figures out if you hear one of our children screaming or the neighbor's cat howling? When you do come to a conclusion on which one you hear, that is from experience a.k.a. consciousness! But there is still a mystery as to how that enters our mind. So yes, call me a mysterian!
M: Well, I guess there is some mystery to consciouness but I bet you that one day machines will consiousness just like us!
H: Humph, bet they don't!